Notes from Parenthood

Not my kid. Not enough snot and limb flailing, for one thing.

A few weeks ago, for reasons known only to herself, my daughter decided to throw an afternoon-long tantrum. As she screamed, I cycled through annoyance, concern, anger, empathy, back to concern, then finally shellshocked admiration at her stamina and commitment to cause.

Around hour two, her cries suddenly changed pitch and frequency. Seeing an opening, I hollered "RE-MIX!" and, as she stared in confusion, I began singing:

It's the remix to ignition,
hot and fresh out the kitchen.
I can't sing you the rest,
'cause it's not safe for children.

She frowned. She giggled. She wasn't yelling!

Then she took a deep breath and started all over again.

Sample Sale: Superhero Style

I joke that superhero comics are my midlife crisis. I turned 35 and all of a sudden I was consumed with the urge to surround myself with TPBs and have opinions on the characterization of heroes only, like, five people have ever heard of. I blame Kelly Sue DeConnick for being an awesome writer and a redhead (I can't resist a redehad, y'all). 

But I still love fashion and frippery, so here are my interests combined:

 

Solid Supernova Pendant (Free People, $39.95 from $58) Carol Danvers, Captain Marvel, has the best costume in comics right now. I'm not even going to add "in my opinion." I am stating this as fact. Get a little bit of her badass-ness with this necklace. (Also: Lord,  has she come a long way from that first outfit, which I look at and immediately think "vagina wedgie.") (Also also: read her book. She is the best.)

Viento Arrow Cuff (Free people, $69.95 from $100) Hawkeye is the comic I would recommend to non-comics readers (aka: me, until about a year ago!) The writing and art are fantastic, and you don't need to know 50 years of canon to enjoy it. From a fashion perspective, arrows are in; I see them in jewelry a lot.

Pleated Silk Dress in Pansy (Madewell, $99.99 from $150) Kate Bishop is a large part of what Makes Hawkeye so awesome. She is smart, sassy, and up for anything but standing still and looking pretty. Kate's outfit considerations: 1) Is it purple? 2) Can I kick ass in it?

Spring Trench (BodenUSA, $138.60 from $198) The closest I could find to Jessica Drew's fierce coat in Hawkeye #9 (Jess, aka Spiderwoman, really needs a costume redesign. My boobs hurt for hers whenever I see her superhero-ing outfit.)

Two-Tone Reading Glasses (Anthropologie, $19.95 from $38) To hide your secret superhero identity, duh.

V Neck Dress (Shopbop, $529 from $880) Serving up Emma Frost realness. (Ed. Note: Finding a SFW Emma image? Very, very difficult.) But she's my favorite even with the cheesecake costume, and this is why:

Me too, Emma. Me too.

Alchemia Bullet Bracelet (Shopbop, $117 from $195) In the comics, Black Widow has bracelets that fire something called the "widow's bite." IDK what that is. I don't think it's important. What is important is: What the fuck is going on with her legs in this picture? Uh, anyway, this bracelet is made of bullets. 

Just the Way You Star Skirt (ModCloth, $61.99 from $87.99) You will never convince me that this isn't Wonder Woman's go-to date-and-or-BBQ skirt.

Red Haute American Summer Dress (ModCloth, $90.99 from $129.99) If you want to date Captain America.

In and Nights Out Dress (ModCloth, $39.99 from $79.99) If you want to seduce Captain America.

Glittered Stretch Belt (Anthropologie, $19.95 from $38) I could not for the life of me think of a specific superhero to attach this to, but it looks like it should be part of someone's costume, doesn't it? (ETA: Thor. It's Thor-esque. Thanks, Kelly Sue!)

Sample Sale: Geek Chic

I very clearly recall being 11 years old, sitting in my hometown library with a friend, and trying to shush him as we talked about Star Trek: The Next Generation, because holy shit, what if someone found out I was a Trekkie? That would've been, well, not social suicide, because everyone already knew I was a huge nerd, but something awful, obviously.

It turns out one of the best things about getting old is the complete failure of one's Give A Fuck. Nowadays I'm like, HEY, READ MY FANFICTION or LOOK, I WENT TO A CONVENTION. Wear your niche interests proudly, my friends, because everyone's a nerd about something.

Marie Curie Babydoll (Think Geek, $18.99 from $20.99) As a kid, I read everything I could get my hands on about Marie Curie. She had an amazing life in addition to being a brilliant scientist. So when someone tells you "Cute shirt!" you can respond, "Thanks! Marie Curie was a badass."

Thor Hammer Cuff Bracelet (Think Geek, $18.49 from $36.99) I like this because it's subtle and stands on its own as a pretty piece of jewelry independent of its geekspiration.

Converse All Star Cheetara athletic shoe (Journeys, $29.99 from $59.99) Guys, DO NOT go back and try to rewatch Thundercats. You'll be so disappointed. Cheetara still looks awesome, though, so rock these shoes.

Star Wars Vehicles Cookie Cutters (Williams-Sonoma, $9.99 from $19.95) My 6-year-old nephew is super into a bunch of Star Wars stuff that I know nothing about (the Lego sets alone!), and he loves to tell me all about random characters and their adventures. But my favorite moment came last summer when he said, "Aunt Lyette, did you know Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's father?" Um, yeah kid. I was aware of that.

Red (Threadless, $12.95 from $19.50 [t-shirt] @29.95 from $49.50 [hoodie]) All the women's t-shirts are sold out, but you can get a 2X men's shirt and wear it as a sleep-shirt, maybe? That's what I would do if I didn't think it's scare the snot out of Baby Razor if I walked into her room in the middle of the night wearing it.

Comic Gia (Kate Spade, $39 from $78) Less comics and more pop art, but still geek chic. Bright, cute, and useful.

Comic Relief Dress (ModCloth, $48.99 from $97.99) It's the BOINK! over the bosom that makes it, really.

He-Man DIY Paper Figure (Urban Outfitters, $1.99 from $6) There's a Skelator too! Keep them on your desk at work and make them fight.

Smaug's Cash 4 Gold (Busted Tees, $15 from $20) I'm just saying, there are two more Hobbit movies coming out and you're gonna need something to wear to opening night.

Doctor Who TARDIS Talking Cookie Jar (Think Geek, $26.99 from $29.99) Linked for my friend Leigh, who already has the TARDIS coffee pot. (How many TARDIS products do you think there are? Could someone do an all-TARDIS kitchen?)

Happy Mother's Day

No Sample Sale this week! Instead, let me present you with "All About My Mom," as answered by Baby Razor, Age 3 and 3/4.

My mom is 5 years old.

My mom weighs I don't know because she is short.

My mom's favorite color is purple.

My mom's favorite food is egg salad.

My mom always says "I love you too."

Mom cooks the best macaroni.

My mom's job is to write and serve me food.

My mom laughs when I say gookey-ga.

If my mom had time, she would love to take a nap.

My mom & I like to play outside.

My mom really loves boats.

I LOVE my mom because she always gives me great hugs.

And here I was thinking she was the great hugger!

Sample Sale: Hey, Mama

Alternate titles:
Mama Said Knock You Out
Mama, OoooOOOOooooo (from Bohemian Rhapsody, obviously)

I had trouble with this one, because mothers are vast and contain multitudes. My mother likes decorating. I like comic books. Your mom might like hot rods. Or rock climbing. But if you're stumped for what to get her, hopefully this list will jumpstart your creativity.

Calla Lily Drinkware Set (Uncommon Goods, $49.99 from $100) Probably more decorative than functional, but it'll give your mom the idea of sharing lemonade and chatting with you, which is nice and probably something that mothers and children do somewhere, right?

Sunrise Stoneware Bowl (Terrain, $39.95 from $78) The key to giving home gifts is to know your mother's decorating concept. If your mother doesn't have a decorating concept, I don't know what to tell you. (My mother's house looks like a Better Homes & Gardens show-home for French Country.)

Jane Jeweled Frame (Z Gallerie, $14.99 from $24.95) Frames are nice if you have something cool to put in them. Don't put a picture of yourself, seriously, your mother has enough of those. 

Snow Gardenia Soap (Cisthene, $8 from $14) A big bar of soap is one of my go-to "I have run out of gift ideas" gifts. Get one with fancy packaging so if your giftee doesn't love the scent, he or she can use it as bathroom decoration. Liquid soaps in fancy glass bottles also work. (Bonus soap!)

Mughal Arabesques Umbrella (Metropolitan Museum of Art Store, $20 from $40) Unless your mom lives in Southern California, she needs an umbrella. And she probably buys all of hers from the drug store, because who the heck splurges on umbrellas? Splurge for her.

Grey Moonstone Filigree Earrings (Wendy Mink Jewelry, $40, sample sale) Jewelry is another gift where you have to know what your mother likes. My mom, for example, doesn't like long, dangly earrings. And I don't wear gold. But these are super pretty and maybe your mom would like them? (Bonus for moms with August birthdays: the green stones are peridot, the August birthstone.)

Leaf Headband (BCBG Max Azria, $12.60 from $18) I like this headband. I am a mom. Maybe my husband will actually read the sale post this week, who knows. (Baby Razor is off the hook because she can't read yet.)

Double R Ranch Co. Flank Steak (Williams Sonoma, $45.99 from $65) Only get this if your mom truly enjoys cooking. Otherwise she might be like, "That's great, now I have to do something with this." Or! Buy it and make dinner for her! Ooh, that'll get you major Favorite Kid points.

Prep Bowls (set of 5) (Sur La Table, $10.36 from $12.95) No matter what I'm cooking, I always need more bowls. And these have measurements on the sides, too. Not a particularly glamorous gift, but certainly a useful one.

Cosmos Blue Blossom Watering Can Gift Kit (Willard & May, $25.82 from $32.60) The Razor Family's Go To Mother's Day Gifts, 1983-present: coffee mugs and/or flower stuff. Giftees who love gardening are easy to shop for, because there is always something else that can be added to a garden.

Weird, Wacky, Wonderful: Martini Junction

Months ago, Laura Olin linked to Atlas Obscura on Twitter. I'm always looking for things to do with Baby Razor, so I searched for anything near me. Lo and behold, there was something called Martini Junction only twenty minutes from my house.

A hundred and twenty feet of model railroad tracks in the middle of the woods? Yeah, that sounded like something a three-and-a-half-year-old would enjoy. Unfortunately, it was February and said woods were about to be under two feet of snow. But it sounded so charming that come the first warm spring day, G and I headed to Needham Woods to search for it.

Of course, we promptly took a wrong turn. But we had a lovely picnic lunch on a fallen log, and our poor navigation meant Mr. Razor could come with us on our second attempt this weekend.

Here's what you do: Drive to the Robinwood Avenue entrance to Needham Woods. Turn right and follow the path, which is marked by tiny faux-birdhouses with white tops.

Look for a path on your right, turn onto it, and look for this birdhouse:

Then follow the orange-topped birdhouses. It's a twisty, root-y, up & down trail, but it's not particularly difficult. Baby Razor didn't have any problem with it. It's aways down the trail. I started to get discouraged when we saw a set of houses to our right, because it meant we were near the edge of the woods again. But then we saw this:

A bit further along the path came this:

We started to get excited. More signposts along the trail led us to our destination:

We'd found it!

The tracks were a beautiful addition to the woodsy landscape, and it was obvious how much time and care had been put into building them.

But it turned out the tracks were just the beginning of Martini Junction's magic. The area is packed with tiny buildings, models, and tableaux.

I don't know how much was put there by the tracks' builder and how much was added by visitors. I know that the spot is popular with geocachers, who often add to a cache when they find it. Regardless, the scene above is particularly charming, since it depicts a craftsman with a model train, birdhouses like the ones lining the trails in Needham Woods, and what looks like a bottle of vermouth--essential to a proper martini. All signs point to this being a meta-commentary on The Creator of Martini Junction.

But I have to say, this was my favorite bit, although I have no idea if it was intentional or not:

See the book by the monkey's paw? Yeah. Awesome. Someone also took the time to print out a realistic-looking computer screen and glue it to the teeny computer. I love it.

There's so much more that I'm leaving out for hikers to discover on their own. If you go, you can listen to the water wheel

And enjoy a snack and a drink at the table & benches.

If you're really lucky, the builder will be there and you'll get to see the trains (which are kept in padlocked boxes underneath the benches) running on the tracks. We weren't that lucky this weekend, but we'll definitely be going back.

Sample Sale: Boston, You're My Home

So...most of this stuff isn't actually on sale. But I've been a Bostonian for 15 years and I love this city so much. I figured it was only appropriate to share some stuff that reflects that love.

Charity Products

Boston Innovation has 11 Items that support marathon bombing victims. Above is my favorite, from Life is Good.

T token necklace ($32.50, 50% donation to Boston Children's Hospital in memory of Martin Richard.) Finding a token in my pocket used to make my day. I still have warm feelings for them more than five years after they went the way of the carrier pigeon.

Boston's not afraid of you pin ($1.75, all proceeds to the One Fund) It's true. Those creepy twins from The Shining could show up in a Bostonian's bathroom at 2 a.m. and she'd tell them to go fuck themselves.

Marathon route 8x10 poster ($35.00, all proceeds to the One Fund) Minimalist, poignant, and (I imagine) hugely motivating for 2014.

Boston Skyline Word Art Print  ($30.00, all proceeds to the One Fund) Just looking at the skyline gives me the warm fuzzies.

Forever Boston photo ($25, 50% of the proceeds to the One Fund) Yup, totally made me cry.

Map Products

Boston neighborhood map (Ork Posters, $22) In case you were wondering, I live in the least cool neighborhood.

Boston map necklace/earrings (Aminimal Studios, $40-$50) There are so many cities available in this line! You're all going to love/hate me.


Local Artisan Sale Products

Zooguu stuffed animals ($15-$90) Through May 1, you get a free size upgrade on whatever you order. Baby Razor has an elephant from them, and it is adorable, durable, and lovable.

Xylem earrings (Nervous System, $20-$25 from $40-$50) The only thing keeping me from buying these right now is my indecision over which color to get.